


When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

by StarGlowLatte



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Ace/Demi!Kaiba, Ancient Egyptian Mythology, Empathic!Reader: you get all the feels, F/M, Foreigner!Reader, In this house we still stan Kisara, Learn to love yourself fic, M/M, Main pairing eventual Kaiba/Reader, Mentions of mental illness and body positivity, Mentions of the Kaiba bro's childhood abuse, Playlist Interactive Chapters, Screw destiny; make your own!, Some Yami/Reader, The Kaiba Kids deserved better, Unrequited!Yami Bakura/Reader, YOU DESERVE ALL THE LOVE, soul bonds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:25:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarGlowLatte/pseuds/StarGlowLatte
Summary: “Well, third time’s the charm.” Ishizu mused quietly, smiling at you from out of the corner of her eye.  You only raised a brow in confusion to the reference of times you'd passed through worlds, “the third?”In which the reader finds herself in a new dimension, with a new purpose, and an old past.  Main pairing Kaiba/Reader, with some Yami/Reader.Drabbles are not in chronological order, but are all connected as part of an ongoing plot.  Drabbles will be set in Season 2,3, and 5 of the original Duel Monsters Yu-Gi-Oh! English dub, as well as DSOD respectively.*Edit: Formerly titled 'The Clarity Drabbles'!  Reader is in their early twenties (20-22) while the rest of the main cast are in their sophomore year of high school starting in Season 2.  Kaiba has already graduated, having turned 18 the previous year.  Playlist Interactive: every chapter title is a song that inspired/set the tone/was listened to while writing!





	1. Fantasia

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve loved Yu-Gi-Oh! since I first saw it as a kid. I was around nine ears old, and this was the time when kids were starting to bring their new dueling decks to school to trade cards. One of the boys in my class didn’t have a problem gifting me one of the ‘girly cards’ he had, but it was my first experience with the series and I just loved the designs. After that, it was (ironically enough) history.  
> This is my personal love letter to the English dub (although I’ve added some other aspects to it, focusing mostly on Season 2, 3, 5, and DSOD. I aim to keep characters as canon as possible for personality. You might notice a few differences, but it’s because I’ve added my own headcanons to the ongoing story as explanations for behaviors or actions, not as an attempt to change the canon character (hit me up with your own headcanons, I love hearing them and might consider adding them!)  
> *Edited  
> Originally an OC-centric story, I've rearranged it as a female reader insert (reader inserts being my most beloved of favorite fanfiction styles!)  
> I feel like I have poured my heart and soul into this project. For this series I will still address issues such as mental illness, self-harm, cultural differences and body positivity, all subjects that I have experience with/am passionate about. I understand if it’s not your cup of tea, which is why I’ve warned you in this little message before it all starts. If you’re still with me, thank you for taking a look at my little story! 
> 
> Love always, StarGlowLatte.

-)0(- 

You were ten the first time you saw him in your dreams.

It was one of the first lucid dreams you ever remember having. The shore swelled noisily, the sun sinking slowly in a pastel swirl of purple, pinks and oranges. It was your favorite time of day. Still a child, your surroundings always felt safe no matter how irregular or unrecognizable they were. The wide world was peaceful, as it is for any child that has had a happy childhood.

Despite being so young, you recognized your surroundings as the amalgamation of the beaches you've been to in your short life; you could feel the soft sand beneath your bare feet, and distinctly hear the laughter of children as they threw sand at each other. A warm breeze that carried a kiss of salt and the distinct scent of something watery and ancient passed through your hair, offering a comforting sense of familiarity.

 These were your favorite places in the world. Even at this age, the sea felt like home.

 Your eyes landed on a figure as if they were looking for him all along. You were no longer on the shore, but standing in a small harbor watching a boarded boat preparing to set off into the sea. You recognized the one passenger your eyes had set upon, and your eyes widened further in childish delight as a grin crossed your lips. You were certain it was a dream now.

He stood facing you offshore on the departing boat, as the setting sun cast a golden glow against the purple and pink. The boat rumbled its engine, turquoise scattering into glittering mirror shards as waves broke the surface. There was a crowd around you, waving to their departing friends and family. You surged through the crowd with a sudden sense of urgency, and your eyes followed him as you neared the dock’s edges. He had not looked at you even once, not even after you had called out to him. His actions felt detached and unnatural. It bothered you, but you tossed the thought aside as you carried on. You waved, calling out to him, “Pharaoh, please, don't go!”

The pharaoh did not listen. Instead he waved goodbye with a soft smile as the ship sailed further away. He then turned away from you, and your stomach dropped.

 Fresh tears collected in your eyes, and an uncomfortable feeling welled in your stomach. You felt like you had missed something terribly important, and your body ached with the loss of it.

You never realized someone else was watching you with widened, curious eyes.

 


	2. 1-800-273-8255

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, and thank you so much to my two kudos gifters! You gave my heart the warm fuzzies. <3
> 
> Just for quick note:
> 
> (Name): The name you chose when you arrived in Domino (whatever you like, it can even just be your original!).  
> The moment the song posted at the top (1-800 by Logic) ends is when you open your eyes, immediately taking in the scene before you. That was actually how the scene came to me, and I thought it was a great contrast between the dreams being the song, and the silence to what greets you as you wake.

-)0(-

Season 2| Summer

-)0(-

His eyes were on yours, violet gleaming maniacally in the dark. You could see them from the way he was poised over your bed, the tip of the Millennium rod’s sharpened end pointed directly at your sternum. He was as still as an animal ready to pounce, and the energy rolled off of him in waves despite his immobile stance.

 It was terrifying.

Especially since you could see the sly smile on his face from the meager light that came through your porthole window. He could have moved to strike and you would not have seen it happen.

This registered, but all that could come out of your mouth was a hoarse whisper of, “What are you waiting for, my permission?”

 It seemed too late when you thought that this might not have been the right thing to say to a possessed madman holding an ancient artifact above you ready to commit murder.

It’s lucky that you were wrong.

Yami Marik’s smile only widened as he lowered his arms. He then sheathed the Millennium rod and tucked it back to his side.

“You’re quite amusing. Perhaps I’ll spare you, if only to entertain myself later.”

There was a pause as you stared at him sideways from your prone position. Your body still felt paralyzed from the shock of opening your eyes to find him looming over you in the dark, “At least I have one good thing going for me.” You mused dryly, while your brain ran frantically trying to find a solution to the trouble you were in.

Your mouth was dry, and your blood felt like it was jumping in your veins. You wanted to find the strength to force him away, but your body was not cooperating. He knew that his presence made you uncomfortable, and he was _purposely_ exploiting that fact as he stood there, watching you.

When your eyebrows furrowed in frustration, he burst into malicious laughter. You couldn’t say that you agreed with the sentiment, as you had always made a point to lock your door before bed, and you had woken up to find him standing above you ready to send you to the afterlife.

Your train of thought was interrupted when a loud beep came from said door as it slid open. A bunch of people loudly entered the room, and chaos erupted as the lights were turned on and you found yourself staring at what felt like half of the inhabitants in the blimp. Immediately, you wanted to curl up under your comforter. You were not wearing any makeup, and you didn’t even want to think about the state of array that your hair was in.

Joey rushed forward, putting himself between you and Yami Marik, “Are you all right, (Name)? What’s this creep doing in here!?”

Tea and Serenity quickly came to your side, Serenity’s hand on your shoulder as you slowly maneuvered to sit up. “Um, I don’t know?” you answered uncomfortably, looking at who else had entered your room. It felt too much like a case of  _Deus Ex Machina_  to you. You quickly shifted your fingers through your hair, hoping to make it presentable as you looked around.

Mokuba stood at the door, a worried expression on his face. You were even more surprised when Kaiba’s tall, coat-less figure appeared in the doorway, leaning on it with his arms crossed. His face was expressionless, but he was present and that’s what confused you.

You turned to look at Yugi, but the pharaoh was the one who greeted your vision. You almost recoiled from the apparent anger in his eyes that had grown slowly since Battle City started.

Yami Marik’s eyes were always cold with cruelty, but the pharaoh’s deep violet irises instead burned in an ancient kind of anger that ran long and deep when prompted (the kind of gaze only a king could have), and it always seemed to threaten terrible things. It would have been a comical contrast if it was anyone else in Yugi’s cute pajamas, and you would have been lying if you had said you didn't think it was adorable to see him in them.  But the pharaoh meant business, and no one was laughing.

Thankfully, his anger was not directed towards you. Instead, he had walked forward so that he was facing Yami Marik, his back to you as if to shield you.

“You will not touch her.” He warned lowly, enough that it sent chills down your spine. You had seen him angry before, but it was like experiencing it for the first time, “I will not let you hurt my friends more than you already have.”

Yami Marik didn’t seem perturbed; in fact it seemed like he was more amused than ever as he laughed, “How pitiful. Your friends only make you weak, pharaoh, and yet you fly to their aid. Perhaps it will be easier to win against you since you are so attached to them.” He didn’t wait for a reply, striding confidently out the door before you could blink. You watched as Kaiba’s eyes followed Yami Marik as he moved down the hallway and out of sight.

You didn’t know you were feeling relieved until his overwhelmingly negative energy had left the room. You then visibly deflated.

“Holy shit.” You murmured to yourself in (main language) as Tea gently rubbed your back. Serenity withdrew her hand from your shoulder and instead sat next to you on the bed. You absentmindedly raised your arm to gently pull your fingers through the younger girl’s hair in a gesture of comfort.

“That went well.” Mokuba quipped from the door, having previously moved to huddle behind Kaiba as Yami Marik had exited your room.

“Son of a bitch,” Joey spat, his gaze turning from the door to you, “The pharaoh was right, I can't believe he came in here. You still okay?”

You nodded absentmindedly, still processing everything as you continuously ran your fingers through Serenity’s hair, “I…I locked my door before I went to bed.”

Joey frowned, turning to glare at Kaiba.

 “Enough.” The pharaoh murmured before Joey could lay blame when he knew that it didn’t matter. The dark spirit had the Millennium rod, and it wouldn’t have mattered whether or not you had locked your door if he had wanted to enter your room, “We must be more careful."

He turned his gaze to you as he finished, and you couldn’t understand why he was looking at you like that.

Like you had disappointed him.

It made you want to crawl under your covers and cry, even though you had no idea why he felt that way towards you. He’d always had this kind of affect on you, the way that you were hyper aware of him despite the fact that he occupied someone else’s body. This was something you came to realize the more you interacted with him.

You were about to ask him how he knew you were in trouble when Tristan appeared at the door in his pajamas. He yawned, before looking at everyone gathered in your room confusedly, “Uh, what happened?”

Kaiba rolled his eyes before lifting himself from your doorway, disappearing without ever having said a word. Mokuba was quick to follow him down the hall, wishing everyone a good night before he left everyone else alone in the room.

But you never got to ask the pharaoh your question. While Tea quietly filled Tristan in, Yugi had suddenly returned, looking weary. His eyebrows were furrowed as he yawned sleepily. The atmosphere of the whole room changed.

Your friends stayed with you the rest of the night, with Joey choosing to sleep on a pillow against the wall next to the door. As you laid back in your bed, shaking the remaining panic out of the ends of your hands and feet, you made sure to remind yourself to tell your friends that tomorrow they could return to their beds.

 That was because while everyone had talked, you had deeply considered your recent circumstances.

Were you really ever in any danger? Despite how terrifying the dark spirit had been when he had broken into your room, it would have been too easy to actually hurt you while you were asleep. No, the whole intent was not only to scare you (sadistic as he was), but also to obtain something else. Your heart fluttered uncomfortably when you realized that Yami Marik had done this because he was testing someone.

And it wasn’t you.

_“Your friends only make you weak, pharaoh, and yet you fly to their aid. Perhaps it will be easier to win against you since you are so attached to them.”_


	3. breathin

-)0(- 

Season 2| Summer

-)0(-

                  The vibe coming off of Marik was enough to make you shudder, almost violently at times. You couldn’t stay near him for long, as his negative energy almost always put you in a bad mood. The darkness in him was on the cusp of taking over, and the energy surrounded him like static. Everyone still thought he was Namu, which is why you often found yourself avoiding the Egyptian on the Battle City Blimp. Not out of fear, per say, but from the negative energy you had a tendency to pick up from him. As an empath, you didn’t want to soak up any more negativity than necessary. The last thing you wanted was for it to increase your anxiety, and possibly spur a panic attack.

Ever since you could remember, you had been incredibly attuned to other people’s energy and emotions. You could still remember how easy it had been to tell if your mother was in a bad mood or not the moment you had arrived home from school as a kid.

It had always been natural for you to be able to gauge the hidden meaning behind people’s words, or read the feelings behind someone’s expression. However, such an ability was a double-edged sword- just as you were able to discern others’ emotions, you were also susceptible to absorbing them. Sometimes this made it hard to tell where your feelings started and theirs ended.

You were especially worried about how your empathic tendencies would fare against supernatural energies. You hadn’t quite figured out how to block other people’s energies from affecting you.

Today’s interaction with Marik keenly demonstrated this.

Either Marik was aware of your connection to his sister, or he was aware of both that and your empathic tendencies. No matter the reason, you posed a threat to him in his feud with the pharaoh. You found yourself cornered one afternoon on your way out of the dining area. He had made sure no one was around to come to your aid.

It was something exactly like what Ishizu feared he would do.

“We haven’t properly introduced ourselves yet, have we?” he had asked, appearing before you almost in the blink of an eye.

Immediately you flinched at how quickly he had approached you, like a predator waiting in the grass for its prey. You narrowed your eyes at him and tried to push down the shudders from the anxiety that his negative energy caused. You had just wanted to slip out silently and enjoy a short respite in your room, but now you regretted the decision to leave the dining hall without Joey.

“I guess we haven’t.” You replied as you frowned at him, “But I know enough about you already that I suppose I didn’t feel the need to.”

“Is that so?” he smirked as he leaned towards you, “but that seems unfair, for you to know more about me than I know of you.”

You were intimidated, but you didn’t want to show it. Surprisingly, that only pushed you to reply, “Do you really think I believe that? I think you would have never approached me if you didn’t already know more about me.” You refused to back down from him. Despite the fact that he was around the same height as you, his overwhelming energy made him appear as if he towered over you.

“I must admit that I was surprised to see someone like you here.” Marik admitted with a sly grin, “Something told me that there was more to you than it seemed…your aura especially. My sister’s always trying to meddle in my affairs, but I won’t let her this time.”

Your heart jumped at the fact that he must have known that Ishizu had sent you to Domino, and you couldn’t help but cringe at how unexpectedly aware he was of the situation.

He smiled. It was a sickening parody of a smile, one that made unspoken threats. Your heart jumped again from the apprehension, and suddenly your body felt overheated from your increasing anxiety.

“That’s enough.”

In a flash, you felt a vice grip around your upper arm.

In one fluid movement, Bakura appeared and maneuvered you to stand at an angle behind him despite the fact that you jumped from how his voice had startled you.

You were completely taken by surprise when you looked up to gaze at him. It was not actually Bakura, you suddenly realized with widening eyes.

It was the spirit of the ring.

You couldn’t help but balk at the way the spirit had suddenly appeared out of nowhere to commandeer the situation. Why would he uncharacteristically stick his neck out for you? You had surprisingly gotten along without much of a fuss from the hospital to the Kaiba stadium, but that was all the interaction you expected to have with him.

You glanced at Marik from behind the spirit’s figure, but he looked more amused than angered.

“If you think you are scaring me off, spirit, think again.” Marik sneered, “Is she one of your playthings? If that’s the case, you could have just said so.”

You decided you were not scared anymore despite the fact that your body was telling you the opposite. Instead, you wanted to punch Marik in the face.

“What she is, is none of your concern,” the spirit replied, twisting Bakura’s innocent features with a smirk of his own, “But you would do well not to touch what’s mine.”

You scoffed incredulously at the threat, much to Marik’s further amusement.

“Threats from you? I’ll have to keep that in mind. See you again, (Name).” Marik mocked, before he disappeared down the opposite hall with an awful smirk on his lips.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and that was when you felt it. It only took a moment to realize that the encounter had been too much for you on top of everything else you had been dealing with to date. Your stomach sank at the impending feeling of a panic attack, and in response your skin started to feel like it was burning.

One thing you learned early on was that a panic attack could manifest in an array of different symptoms depending on the person. Yours happened to be the unfortunate type that made you feel like you were being burned alive.

You sighed as you closed your eyes in frustration, “Well, fuck.”

“A thank you would be better suited, wouldn’t it?” The spirit intoned lightly from in front of you, before he turned to look at you over his shoulder.

You bit back the immediate retort that came to mind, “It’s not that. Thank you, I suppose.” You ground out as you clenched your teeth.

The spirit didn’t speak, just turned to stare at you evenly. You would have been more annoyed if you weren’t panicking with the way he was just standing there, watching you fall apart.

“Are you-“

 “Huh?” You looked up, brain muddled and eyes widening as the spirit continued to stare at you. He had the weirdest look on his face, and you couldn’t place it.

But for a moment you swore it could have been interpreted as concern.

“Are you having an attack?”

“Why do you care?” Was the first thing out of your mouth before you could stop it. At that moment you didn’t even register how he could have known what was happening to you.

“You’ve had them before.” He replied quietly. Even more confusing, it hadn’t been a question.

You groaned, quashing the numerous questions that wanted to rise out of your throat in response and instead shut your eyes tightly in embarrassment, “Holy crow, I need to get to my room.”

One of your greatest vulnerabilities, and it was the spirit of the millennium ring that had to witness it. You just wanted to crawl into a hole and die without anyone watching.

You turned to find the right hallway to your room, but stopped when you felt the spirit grip your wrist again.

  
You opened your mouth to protest, but he pulled you down another hallway and into one of the public lounge rooms.

You were suddenly too overwhelmed to protest, and your gaze grew fuzzy from the sensation coming from your skin. It felt like an intense fever. You easily sank into a chair and twitched as the burning sensation grew from settling in one spot and the contrasted feeling of the cooled leather against your skin.

You whispered nonsensically in (main language) to yourself, and tried to rest your head on your shaking hands, “I can’t breathe-,” You gasped out, when suddenly two cool, reassuring hands were on your wrists, pulling them away from your face so that you were forced to look up.

The spirit had kneeled down in front of you, and looked at you straight in the eye while his hands firmly held your wrists. 

You subconsciously tugged against them for a moment, wanting to isolate yourself. You had never been this close to the spirit before, and the uncharacteristic way he was acting suddenly scared you.

“Listen to me, girl. Take a deep breath,” he ordered sternly, and you finally stopped fighting him and tried your best to comply. Despite the haze clouding your mind, you knew you were not going anywhere even if you wanted to.

“I can’t breathe.” You repeated in a rush, eyes widened in anxiety and embarrassment momentarily forgotten, “I’m burning, there’s no air, I-“

“You will be fine,” The spirit replied coolly, but the tone was surprisingly gentle for him.

The whole situation suspiciously made you feel like he had done this before and you didn’t know what to think of it.

“How many people are in the finals? Answer my questions.” He asked.

“There are six.” You finally breathed out, trying to ignore the prickling sensation that accompanied the burning. The fact that he had his hands around yours was completely lost to you in the moment. You suddenly realized that he was trying to distract you, to take your mind off of your anxiety.

_How did he know how to do this?_

“Name them.”

“Kaiba, Yugi, Marik, Ishizu, you,” You shuddered, “and Joey.”

“Who is dueling next?” he asked.

 “You…and Yugi…” You replied quietly, feeling your heart start to slow down. The distance away from the negative energy was helping the attack reduce at a faster rate.

The burning had finally reached its peak, but the spirit’s voice kept you distracted from any intrusive thoughts. His real voice was similar to what you remembered as a child on television; enough to be recognizable, different enough to be wholly his own.

Slowly, you felt your body heat begin to lower further. Your skin started to feel less like it was on fire than before. You looked down and finally realized that the spirit was still holding onto your wrists. They felt warm since your skin had cooled, and it was almost…nice.

Immediately, you had to remind yourself that they weren’t really his hands. They were your friend Bakura’s, and the spirit was using the body for his own purposes.

He let go when you noticed. Bitterly, you admitted to yourself that you missed the feeling of steady hands on yours.

 _Probably because I’m a touch-starved loser_ , you thought.

The familiar lonely ache in your heart reared its ugly head, making you feel as if your ribs were hollow. 

“Stop it.” You suddenly heard, looking up in surprise at the harshness of his statement.

“What?”

 “You’re doing it.” He narrowed his eyes at you, and then poked you in the forehead.

You blinked at the gesture, too tired to be offended or confused by the unusual situation, “Ow. I’m what?”

“Over thinking. You like to over think.” He replied, rolling his eyes as he stood up.

Your brow creased in confusion as you looked up at him. “How do you know whether I like to over think or not?” you replied curiously.

He shrugged, walking over to look out the porthole as you eased yourself up.

Your eyes narrowed, looking at his back.

“Bakura.” 

He didn’t answer.

You pursed your lips at his refusal to reply. Then, you hesitantly tried again because you knew your next words could garner a response, but also endanger you, “What do you want from me, Akefia?” 

He stilled so sharply that it made you question whether he was even standing still before. It was quiet for a moment longer, but you eventually got your answer.

“You do remember who I am.” He replied slowly, turning to look at you over his right shoulder. Frustratingly, you still couldn’t decipher him.

Instead, you gave him a questioning look to dissuade him, “Remember? No, Ishizu Ishtar gave me your true name. ” You finished hastily, crossing your arms. It was a bold lie, and you knew it. Despite the fact that Ishizu could see parts of the past, this was something you had known without her millennium necklace. You silently chastised yourself, looking down at the ground.

Ever since you had woken up in this world with knowledge of the past and of things that had not come to pass, you had decided to keep as much information as possible to yourself. Your presence was already a huge interference, and that in itself had caused some events to unfold differently compared to what you had expected.

With such unpredictability, you and Ishizu had decided that it might be better if you kept quiet about what you knew, lest something terrible happen as a result of your good intentions.

But sometimes you just couldn’t help it, could you? You couldn’t help but stick your nose in business where it didn’t belong. Why did you have to be so frustrating? Why did you have to care so much?

The conversation was quickly heading towards potentially dangerous waters, so you tried changing the subject, “I am both surprised and expecting to hear a request for helping me. What do you want?" 

“Hmm…you’re very good at figuring things out, aren’t you?” the spirit replied with a grin, “You were even waiting for me to wake up at the hospital.”

“Someone’s got to watch you.” You dryly replied, thankful for the change in subject, “You’re like a cat, all finicky but with purpose. You’re evading my question.”

“You always were good at reading people, I suppose.” He chuckled, and the action was more familiar for him, “Let’s just say that a debt has been repaid, yes?" 

“What the hell? You’ve been talking this whole time like you know me.” You bit out, frustrated with the vagueness of his statements, “what kind of game are you playing?”

“Interestingly, this is a game I don’t appreciate participating in.” the spirit snapped back, and your eyes widened at the change in his tone when he suddenly appeared in front of you again.

You startled, looking up at him as he silently observed you. It was hard to move because you were exhausted from your recent panic attack. And yet, the energy coming off of him was not negative or harmful. Sure, the spirit was dangerous, but for some reason you felt that there was something else emanating from him at this moment.

It was quiet, the only noise the hum of the blimp around you and white noises from down the hall. You felt unspoken things in the air. It always felt distorting when you stared into the eyes of someone who was looking at you through someone else’s body. You’ve had the same reaction with the pharaoh when looking into Yugi’s eyes. It was an unnerving and unnatural magic.

“It seems you have forgotten me. But I am going to fix that.” The spirit finally murmured, staring down at you with the same weird look from earlier.

“But…I’ve never known you in the first place?” You replied softly, bewildered by his words.

He didn’t reply, and instead left you standing in the lounge area with a million thoughts running through your head.

Later that night when you had time to go over the events of the day, you realized that what you were feeling when the spirit had been observing you during your unusual encounter hadn’t been something like anger or irritation like you expected.

 _I should have known better_ , you thought, considering all the experience you had at reading the emotions and feelings of others.

It had been hard to tell what the spirit of the ring was feeling not because he was hard to read, but because his emotions had been mirroring your own. And one of the most difficult challenges you always had was being able to separate and analyze your own feelings from the ones that you absorbed from the people around you. Satisfied that you finally discerned the emotion, you couldn’t help but wonder as you fell asleep:

_Why was he grieving?_


	4. An Unusual Painting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless otherwise specified, all interactions between you and the characters is in Japanese, and Domino is a city an hour or so away from Tokyo~ :D

-)0(-

Season 3| Winter

-)0(-

“Hey!” You greeted with a smile as you pushed open the door with your back, two large coffees in each hand. Mokuba was at school, so you’d left a frappucino in the small fridge in the break room for when he later came by.

Kaiba grunted at your usual greeting, not even looking up from his desk to acknowledge you.

You didn’t mind, even though you used to. You’d gotten to experience various facets of Kaiba’s personality in the time that you’d been in Domino, and by now you were accustomed and almost immune to his arrogant grumpiness. You had decided early in the game to just take him as he was, in the sense that you’d do no harm yet take no bullshit. It seemed to be working.

But today, you were surprised he hadn’t already asked you to leave with _that_ furrowed eyebrow.

 _Progress?_   You wondered idly.

_Nah, it’s because I usually come with a tasty sacrificial offering for the dragon lord._

Humming lightly, you walked forward and around the desk until you were next to him, watching over his shoulder as he typed.

It was a moment before he paused to turn his head and look at you, and you jumped slightly, having been lost in thought when he finally addressed you, “And you’re standing here staring over my shoulder because?”

“Can I not bring a hot beverage when an opportunity for said beverage arises?” You asked, an eyebrow raised in innocent question as you held out the Starbucks cup. “Since I was there, I figured you’d like one. Venti with three espresso shots and a dash of cream, right?”

It took a moment, his eyes locked with yours.

You pursed your lips at his stare, refusing to break eye contact.

Every time he’d done this, it was like he’d been trying to find an ulterior motive behind all your actions, and if you looked away you’d fail his test.

You had just wanted to do it because you had stopped for your own coffee and you knew he liked it more than what they made at the office.

“It’s still hot even with the cup holder, so take it before I drop it. Mariko made this one.” You added with a small smile, hoping that such information would entice him to take it.

Mariko was the only Starbucks employee at the Starbucks down the street whose coffee Kaiba would drink because she always made it searing hot, extra strong, but with the right amount of cream to balance it out. You had idly wondered if Kaiba had added Mariko to his payroll for all the coffee she had ever made specifically for him.

_Take the fucking coffee you beautiful blue-eyed bastard._

You were internally pleased when he wordlessly took the cup from your hands, set it on his desk next to his laptop and went back to work.

Satisfied, you didn’t leave. You decided to risk his wrath by turning to face the windows behind him and lean back on the desk as he typed next to you. You were happy just being near him, watching the view from the window as you sipped your coffee contentedly. Watching the world go by.

Between the tapping of his fingers on the computer, the sound of his breathing and sipping your delicious drink, you realized that you hadn’t felt so at peace in a long time.

You also noticed that Kaiba hadn’t given you the boot yet.

It had taken months of work on your part to get to the point where you could deem your relationship with him ‘neutrally responsive’, so you’d take any time you could get.

_Doesn’t help that you liked the asshole even before you got here._

Before you took another sip, you smiled delightedly against the rim of your cup.

Life was good, for now.

 


	5. Fate

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Season 2| Spring

-)0(-

Time off from your duties at the Domino Museum found you one afternoon in the Domino Public Library.

You had arrived with a list of books to look up on Ancient Egyptian culture and art, and subsequently found a perfectly secluded table at the back where the windows still let the lowering sun shine through.

You had loved Ancient Egyptian history since you were a kid (hmm, wonder why?) and living with Ishizu for a couple of months while accompanying her on archeological digs and excavations had only increased your interest before you had come to Japan.

You were sorting through a heavily illustrated _History of Ancient Egyptian Art_ book when you felt someone’s presence next to you. Seeing as you had grabbed a bunch of books on Ancient Egypt, the first thing that came to mind was that the person next to you wanted to borrow one of the various tomes you had collected on your little table.

“I’m sorry, did you want to take a look at one of the books?” you asked offhandedly before turning to look up at the person who had been standing next to you for the past few seconds.

You couldn’t help but gape, the book in your hands immediately forgotten.

You had made a mistake.

A _huge_ mistake.

 

_“You…can see me?”_

 

A super big, terrible, no good _mistake_.

He was nearly transparent, but you _could_ see him. How, you didn’t know.

All you did know was that you had just asked the Pharaoh if he wanted to look at your library books.

Thankfully, no one else seemed to be around to recognize your blunder. As far as you knew, no one else would have been able to see the dead spirit standing next to you with an expression of growing wonder on his face.

“And hear you, too, apparently.” You answered wryly, eyes widening as you really looked at him.

_It’s him, it’s really him!_

Holy crow, you could see _through_ him.

“This is so weird.” You murmured, awed.

It was not exactly what you expected for your first meeting. Then again, when did things ever seem to go your way?

“Pharaoh?”

You both turned to look at the source of the voice, your eyes falling on Yugi himself.

He stood a few feet away from the both of you with a stack of books in his arms, having rounded the tall shelves to find your small out-of-the-way study table.

An increasingly bewildered expression grew on his face as the both of you looked at him with varying expressions of amazement.

“You have a see-through twin.” You finally blurted out at the same time as the Pharaoh spoke with a sense of understated astonishment, _“Yugi, she **sees** me.”_

“He what?” another voice asked.

The familiar figure of Anzu came up behind Yugi, an inquiring look on her face as she saw you for the first time. You realized (as you should have before) that she couldn’t see the spirit herself.

But for some reason, _you_ could.

_Goddammit, Ishizu. Warn me about these things, will you? How is this even possible?_

Yugi turned to look at Anzu, then back at you with widened eyes before filling her in.

“She can see the Pharaoh.”

_Aw hell._

Things were about to get complicated.


	6. Following Tzipporah

-)0(-

How it all started...

-)0(-

You woke with the warmth of a dry summer breeze caressing your face. It was the calmest and most comfortable you thought you’d felt in a long time. It was the perfect day to stay in bed and rest.

You didn’t want to go to work, groaning when you turned over to reach under your pillow like you always did to grab your phone and check the time.

It wasn’t there.

Sighing, you rolled over to the other side to find it, but your fingers once again grasped empty air.

“Where the fuck is my phone?” you groaned to yourself. You slowly sat up and opened your eyes.

You weren’t in your room.

The room was cast in a bright glow from the sun coming through the open window, linen curtains ruffling in the light breeze. The air was warm, but dry. The smell reminded you of being in your grandmother’s house: old, but homey and clean. The sound of cars and honking horns greeted your ears as you slowly and truly became aware of your surroundings. 

They were completely unfamiliar.

Your eyes turn to meet the door when it creaked open, and a young woman who looked a few years older than you poked her head in with a warm smile. “Good morning.”

She was beautiful. Long, glossy black hair pooled down over her shoulders, gold jewelry and hair accessories accentuating her dark skin and bright blue eyes.

Internally, you cringed from the immediate feeling of inferiority you felt about your own looks.

It was amazing, because this woman really reminded you of someone.  But you had never seen her before.

“Good morning.” You answered cautiously, running a hand through your own hair.

It was quiet, the only sounds coming from outside the window as the woman came into the room. You felt out of place, like something was really wrong.

Your anxiety prompted you to ask, “I’m so sorry, do I know you?”

“You do.” She answered with a calm smile, “I’m just meeting you now, but you’ve known me since you were a little girl.”

This felt so off, you could’ve sworn you had fallen asleep in your own bed. But this seemed too realistic to be a dream.

_I don’t drink or do drugs, so I sure as hell didn’t pass out or hallucinate. What the hell is this?_

You crossed your arms, sending your host a wary glare, “Who _are_ you?”

“My name is Ishizu. Ishizu Ishtar. Welcome to my home, (Name). I’ve been waiting for you.”


	7. I'm a Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been having so many Kaiba feels lately, man! What started out as a small drabble ended up being this. XD

-)0(-

Season 2| Spring

-)0(-

 

You found yourself staring idly at your ceiling from your bed one afternoon after being -pretty much- verbally torn apart by Kaiba at a lunch you had been invited to by Mokuba.

Had you been expecting to view the infamous Kaiba wrath at some point in time?

Yes, absolutely.

Had you been prepared for it to suddenly be directed at you?

Absolutely not.

Kaiba had arrived later as expected for lunch. As he had sat down at the round table you and Mokuba shared, you noticed something was off. Maybe it was the way his tie was slightly crooked (was that even possible?!), or how the bags under his eyes were darker, or that he had a sort of twitchy energy hovering around him that had captured your attention.

You understood that work was the epicenter of his life, but were appalled at the idea that something had probably been keeping him up for what looked like more than _three or four_ days straight.

Mokuba had been chatting idly about some plans for the upcoming Battle City Tournament, and you had contributed your own ideas while the older Kaiba had barely said a word to the both of you since he’d arrived.

 Treading carefully after ordering drinks, you had asked him how work was going, a casual question you thought was safe territory. You had immediately received “It’s none of your damn business.”

 You had put your hand up in a pacifying gesture with the decision not to question him further, hadn’t even tried to touch him when he unexpectedly misinterpreted the action and icily spat, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

 And when Mokuba opened his mouth to protest his brother’s behavior it had all gone downhill.

 It had taken all your strength just to stand up and leave quietly without bursting into tears in front of them.

You forgave Mokuba, who had watched you leave with the guiltiest kicked-puppy expression you had ever seen. It wasn’t his fault that for some reason you had done something wrong in Kaiba’s eyes and had to watch him lay it into you. 

You had arrived home before Jonouchi, immediately deciding to hide out in your room so he wouldn’t see your face and ask questions. Or try and go out to unsuccessfully ‘kick Rich-boy’s ass’.   

To some extent you hadn’t really understood the depth of what you were dealing with until now. It was a mistake on your part, and you hated it. Your feelings had been hurt. 

But now you realized that you really knew nothing. Nothing at all.

From your interaction, you inferred that it probably wasn’t work that had been setting the CEO on edge. Kaiba _owned_ his job at Kaiba Corp. You had never seen him this way before; he had always presented himself as icily cool under pressure.

 The progress you thought you had made with him in the last few weeks…didn’t mean anything, did it?

You had been through some pain of your own in the past: battles with mental illness and self-worth. An anxiety often present that told you that you meant nothing; that you were less beautiful or smart compared to those around you. And today it decided to rear its ugly head once again.

How could you, an outsider, understand the burdens he carried? The pain that you realized was always there, had always been present?

Sure, you remembered some aspects of Kaiba’s past from the show growing up, but how could you begin to even be accepted by someone like him, who carried complex emotions that came with real child abuse? Severe anxiety and issues of abandonment? Even PTSD?

You had approached Kaiba carefully, already knowing that your relationship was likely never to be more than ‘passerby acquaintances’. In every interaction, you had taken one statement at a time, like trying to handle glass without letting anyone know because you secretly wanted his approval. After all, he had been your favorite character as a child; it was like meeting a famous celebrity. You did not want to fuck it up.

_You shouldn’t have cared about what he thought, but you did._

But this was not a story anymore. This was real life, and you were unprepared despite the amount of knowledge you had brought along with you.

_I can’t understand his pain, but I want to. I want to be there for him, just like I want to be there for Mokuba and the rest of my friends._

You always had, even as a kid watching a show about Goddamn card games.

_But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to walk all over me or hurt my feelings._

Soft anger bloomed painfully in your chest as you laid there in your bed, listening to Jou happily humming something outside your closed door as he arrived home.

You had been second guessing your situation ever since you had arrived at Ishizu’s home in Egypt the year before, but even if this really was a dream or a hallucination, did you want to go about as if…

…as if all this didn’t matter? As if your friends’ feelings, which were real to them, didn’t matter?

_Of course I care! That’s why Jou’s living with me now. His father can’t hurt him anymore._

Tears came unhindered to your eyes at the thought of your blonde roommate, and you let them run down the sides of your cheeks, soaking the pillow and pooling in your ears. Thankfully, he had been oblivious to your despondency this afternoon and was going about his regular business in the living room.

_And of course Kaiba is an asshole! That doesn’t excuse his cruelty, but his past gives reason for it. He is like he is because that’s what he needed to become to survive. Wouldn’t you have done the same for your family?_

Yes, without a doubt, you would have done anything to protect your own family if you had to face a similar situation.

This was what had drawn you to Seto Kaiba as a kid: Initially he was rude and callous, with so many walls built up that it was impossible to see over them.

But he was strong, despite his past. He always seemed to know what to do in a bad situation and never let anyone push him down. He had flaws like any human and was vulnerable and capable of emotions. His family was everything to him, his relationship with Mokuba living proof of that.

You didn’t know how to reach that part of him, but you wanted to.

_How do I help you, how can I ease your pain without disregarding who I am as a person?_

Did you even have the right to try?

You were not dealing with characters anymore. As far as you could tell, you were dealing with real people, and your heart was breaking.

You had been lonely your whole life, so starved for love that your ribs ached with the thought of it. That was why you had fought so hard for approval from others.

 How must have it been, for the Pharaoh to live so long without company in his puzzle? For Jou to live alone for so many years with his alcoholic father? For Mokuba and Kaiba to deal with being abandoned and feeling alone in an abusive home that wasn’t really theirs until Kaiba paid the price?

You sighed as you wiped more tears away from your face. You then stared at your ceiling in dismay, and regretted following Ishizu’s idea.

_I can’t do anything right. Why am I even here?_

Related thoughts continued to run through your mind, and you continuously had to wipe tears from your face to prevent them from soaking your pillow even more.

You eventually fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying your eyes out.

Jounouchi had later knocked on your door to ask if you wanted dinner, and you had politely declined. You just wanted to lay in bed, Kaiba’s awful words ringing in your ears as you tried to make sense of your presence in Domino and your place in all of this.

The doorbell rang a little after eleven.

It was Mokuba.


	8. All I Ever Wanted

-)0(-

Season 2| Spring

-)0(-

_How could Ishizu have done this to you?_   You wondered idly as you leaned against your bed.  You had made it home only to crumple right beside it, burying your face in your arms as you curled into a ball.  You just wanted to shrink away from the world.

_He saw you._

_His face…_

You hiccupped, tears continuously soaking your sleeves as you cried.  You had been crying ever since you had left the Museum in such a rush, disregarding Ishizu’s plea for you to stay.

It was dark when she finally returned to the apartment, the hallway light bright and invading as it struck through the darkness of your room when she opened your door. “(Name)?! Oh thank goodness, you _are_ here.”

“You _promised_!” you sobbed, not paying attention to the way your voice revealed how vulnerable you felt by its uneven pitch as she carefully entered your room.  You curled in closer to yourself, ashamed, embarrassed, appalled.

_He saw me.  He saw me._

_He was disgusted by you.  How could he not be?  You’re so ugly._

_Ugly. UGLY_

_U G L Y-_

 “Name.”

You shook your head adamantly like a child, still angered that you had given her your trust only for her to betray it so easily. 

“You promised,” you murmured contritely into your arms, not seeing the guilty thin press of her lips as she kneeled down in front of you.

“I am sorry that I went back on our promise, (Name).” Ishizu explained, continuing when you didn’t interrupt her, “But it had to be done.  My duty is to the pharaoh, and to do my best to ensure his success with my own abilities.”

It was silent for a moment as you pondered her response, confused.  “What do you know that I don’t?” you finally asked, warily looking up at her with watery eyes, “What are you not telling me?”

 “I promise, everything will work out.  You must trust me.” Ishizu insisted, but there was warmth in her voice as she gently laid a hand on your shoulder.  “I knew that you would not precipitate such an event on your own, so I had to arrange for it to happen.”

“Precipitate what?” you sniffed, looking up at her.

She sighed, looking down at you sympathetically, “I know that you asked me not to involve you in Seto Kaiba’s affairs unless necessary, but the Millennium Necklace gave me a vision, and it was imperative that you met him as soon as it was possible.  I decided therefore, that a meeting at the Museum- a place where you are comfortable and I where I would be present- would have been the best arrangement next to your own home.  Was I wrong?” she asked gently.

Looking up at her, you considered it before shaking your head and wiping at your red-rimmed eyes with a sleeve, “No, I guess not.” You replied sullenly; eyes downcast as you felt her sit down beside you. 

Unlike the Japanese customs that frowned upon touch, you were thankful Egyptian customs were not the same when a warm arm wrapped around your shoulder in a gesture of comfort.  

“It’s not as bad as you think, _habibi_.” She whispered, squeezing you a little as you both sat together in the dim light of your room.

“He looked at me like I was atrocious.” You admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. 

“I think you see things differently from what they are.”

“Why?  Do you think that was elation on his face?” you asked sarcastically, though not with real bite.

“I think it was surprise at someone else intervening in our conversation.” She replied, “after all, you came down the steps a little earlier than I had planned.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh yes, you seem to have a habit of doing the unexpected, even for someone with keen senses like mine.” Ishizu teased, a slow smile crossing her face.  It seemed to take so many years off of her that you were sad to see it fade so quickly.

You swallowed, “So, why was it so important?”

Ishizu pursed her lips, and when she looked back at you, you could tell she was saying the truth, “I don’t know.  My vision was just the two of you meeting, and I sensed an urgency that meant you had to do it soon.”

“Well, sucks to be me.” You sighed, laying your head back against your bed, “What happened after I left?”

She chuckled briefly, as if remembering something funny. 

“What?” you insisted, leaning into her to encourage her to answer your question.

“Well,” she intoned, “he did ask who you were.  In fact, he almost demanded I answer him.”

“That’s…” you paused, considering, “really weird.  But very much like him.”

“Isn’t it?” Ishizu agreed lightly, as if she knew why but was pretending not to.

“Mmmhmm.” You hummed suspiciously, giving her the side eye, “And naturally, you told him who I was?”

“Naturally.” She acquiesced, looking straight ahead at the door to your room and not at you, even though you were looking at her.

“And I’m sure after that, he dismissed me as nothing of importance and you went on with business as usual, yes?”

 “If you are wondering if I admitted you came from a different dimension in order to help me on a quest to protect and ensure an ancient pharaoh’s journey against evil, then you would be underestimating not only my intelligence, (Name), but my common sense.” Ishizu teased, looking back at you wryly, “Besides.  I just told him everything he would be able to find on his own.”

“I didn’t think you were going to tell him that,” you insisted, rolling your eyes, “It’s all ‘hocus pocus’ to him anyway.”

She raised a brow at you, “For never having met him until today, it has always been interesting to see you talk about him so confidently.”

“Fuck.  You’re right.” You admitted, embarrassment returning to churn in your gut, “Does it show that he might be my favorite?”

“No.” Ishizu replied, but her tone suggested quite the opposite.

“Damn it.”

She only laughed in response.


End file.
